By Jim Johnson
SouthernPigskin.com

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Here are seven things I am absolutely, positively, uncategorically certain will happen in this year.

One of the most fun things about college football is its unpredictability. I wouldnt recommend trusting the consistency of 18-22 year olds in pretty much any facet of life, and this is no different. Every season, a handful of things happen that, if it took place in a movie, we would needle the writing for being too unrealistic. I say this as a warning, if you want to be wholly surprised in 2016, stop reading. If youre still here, proceed with caution, as you have now entered the spoiler zone. Here are seven things I am absolutely, positively, uncategorically certain will happen in this year.

(SPOILER ALERT)

1. Georgia Tech will not make a bowl game. The Jackets were very inexperienced last season. Now, they are proven vets, well versed in the art of losing. Returning starters dont mean a ton when those guys arent good. Paul Johnsons team will indubitably lose to Clemson, Miami, Pittsburgh, UNC, Virginia Tech, and Georgia. That only leaves six games that they are even physically capable of winning. They will not go unbeaten in those six. The only sure thing on the whole schedule is Mercer. I think Georgia Tech will go 4-8; I know Georgia Tech wont win six.

2. Wake Forest will go winless in conference play. With a pair of 3-9 campaigns under his belt, Dave Clawson is ready for a full-fledged collapse. These Demon Deacons, the most drool-on-yourself-at-a-media-event boring team ever, are at best remaining stagnant in a division that has six other teams all taking strides in the right direction. I think Morgan Freeman said, x9cthe best way to guarantee a loss is to quit,x9d but playing ACC games for Wake Forest works just as well.

3. By the end of the day on October 1st, Louisville will have beaten either Clemson or Florida State, effectively ruining the ACCs shot at being the first conference to produce two playoff teams in the same year. You can even count this as a double sure thing — the ACC will not have two playoff teams (not that bold), and the Cards will take down one of the two favorites (that kid who x98Whatre thosed MJ bold).

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x94 Black Scientologist (@BryceLyle1) August 4, 2015

4. Mitch Trubisky will be benched for poor play. All I heard at ACC Media Days from his head coach and teammates, about the incumbent Tar Heel starting signal caller, was x98big arm this and x98arm talent that. Red flags everywhere. Arm talent might not be in the top ten most important things for a quarterback. Mitch Trubisky screams Jeremy Johnson 2.0.

5. Syracuse will make its first bowl game since 2013. Dino Babers has a lot of work to do in the wake of the Scott Shafer experience (read: catastrophe). However, even in the Atlantic, there are six very winnable games, and a handful of toss-ups. I dont trust the talent, but I have faith in Babers. The guy scores the football, Syracuse will put up points. Whether they can stop anyone is yet to be seen, but just by nature of the system, the offense will be effective. This isnt a contender, far from it, but a postseason appearance is in the cards.

6. The ACC will have more 1,000 yard rushers than the SEC. This has not happened in at least eight years, only equaling the number in 2011 and 2009, respectively. The running back talent is arguably equal; theres more top end talent in the SEC, but the ACC has better depth. Quarterbacks will be the difference. Between Deshaun Watson and Lamar Jackson, the SEC does not have the guns to keep up.

7. Someone not named Deshaun Watson will win the conference player of the year award. No one has gone back to back in the ACC this entire millennium. MILLENNIUM! When I threw this one out in the office it was met with severe backlash. x9cTruly outrageous,x9d said BJ. Betting on fragile Deshaun Watson against the fieldxa6 Im not the one being outrageous. Human nature is to look for something new. Whether you know it or not, youre dying to turn against Watson. Even if he deserves it, statistically speaking, if theres anyone close, the new guy wins.

Be mad if you want, Im not here to argue with you. Theres not even anything to discuss. Youll call me an idiot, every one of these things will happen, and then youll never apologize and concede my brilliance. Thats fine, just being right is enough for me.