By Corey Stewart
SouthernPigskin.com

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This week the SoCon had its first big matchup of the season between the early front runners Chattanooga and Samford that was overshadowed by the surprise FCS/FBS upset of Furman over UCF.

nThis week the SoCon had its first big matchup of the season between the early front runners Chattanooga and Samford that was overshadowed by the surprise FCS/FBS upset of Furman over UCF. Time to celebrate? Not so fast since the rest of the league went 0-5 in its remaining games. Leads one to wonder xe2x80x93 was anyone truly xe2x80x9cSponge-Worthyxe2x80x9d this weekend?

n1) xc2xa0 xc2xa0 xc2xa0Chattanooga (Cedric and Bob) xe2x80x93 Remember Cedric and Bob, the bullies in this episode? That was Chattanooga on Saturday. The Mocs rolled into Birmingham and put the beat down on the Bulldogs in a contest that saw SoCon Offensive Player of the Week Jacob Huesman explode for 150 yards rushing, 181 passing, and 3 total TDxe2x80x99s. The Bulldogs came into the game averaging 644 yards a game on offense, but against the Mocs could barely muster half that amount. It was a signature win for Chattanooga and a humbling setback for the Bulldogs. Wexe2x80x99ll see if the Mocs can keep the xe2x80x9cPain Trainxe2x80x9d rolling this week when they visit the Presbyterian Blue Hose.
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n2)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Samford (Jerry Seinfeld) xe2x80x93 You had us fooled for a second there didnxe2x80x99t you Samford? Strutting around in your size 31 jeansxe2x80xa6only for us to find out you had been wearing size 32 jeans all along and had just been scratching the xe2x80x9c2xe2x80x9d off and writing in the xe2x80x9c1xe2x80x9d. The Bulldogs struggled all day against a Chattanooga defense that was coming in giving up over 400 yards a game. Michael Eubank never got going and finished with just 255 passing and 1/1 in the TD/INT department. The job doesnxe2x80x99t get any easier this week with a trip to Louisville to face a Cardinal team looking for its first win of the season under Bobby Petrino.
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n3)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Furman (Elaine) xe2x80x93 Now THAT was a xe2x80x9cSponge-Worthyxe2x80x9d performance Paladins! FCS wins over FBS opponents are still a rarity these days; almost like the NCAA is re-evaluating its whole xe2x80x9cscreening processxe2x80x9d. So when you get your chance to win one, you canxe2x80x99t waste it. The Paladins got down early 12-0 to the Knights then chipped away to finally take the lead on SoCon Special Team Player of the Week John Croft Hollingsworth record setting 55 yard field goal 16-15. To seal it, the Paladins turned to SoCon Defensive Player of the Week winner Trey Robinson who picked off the Knights (his second of the game) with :49 seconds left. The victory is the first for the Paladins over an FBS team since 1999 and gives them confidence heading into the conference schedule. Be mindful of the Paladins going forward. They have played an incredibly tough slate of early season games and appear seasoned and ready to make a run deep into the fall. It all starts this Saturday with a home matchup against visiting VMI.
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n4)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Wofford (Billy) xe2x80x93 So close and yet so far Terriers. If you recall, Billy was Elainexe2x80x99s boyfriend who was painfully trying to become xe2x80x9cSponge-Worthyxe2x80x9d. That was the Terriers on Saturday. Wofford made the 2,000 mile plus trip to Moscow, Idaho and had the Vandals on the ropes all day. With the lead all the way into the 4th quarter before the Vandals took over for good at 41-38, the Terriers were led by Lorenzo Long who rushed for 86 yards and 3 TDxe2x80x99s; but gave up over 300 yards in the air and turned the ball over 3 times. Another FCS over FBS upset from the same conference? Sorry Wofford. Like Elaine said, xe2x80x9cI wish I could help you, but I can’t afford two of ’em.xe2x80x9d Look for the Terriers to rebound this Saturday against visiting Gardner-Webb.
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n5)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Western Carolina (Susan) xe2x80x93 What a backwards slide for the Catamounts the past two weeks. Maybe they need a little xe2x80x9ccouplexe2x80x99s timexe2x80x9d to re-group. After a tough loss to The Citadel last weekend, they made the trip over the mountain to face a Tennessee Volunteer team looking to take out some vengeance for its loss to Oklahoma. The scoring was furious in the 2nd quarter as the Vols sprinted to the half with a 41-3 lead on their way to the 55-10 final. There was a bright spot for the Catamounts in Detrez Newsome who had 241 all-purpose yards in the game. This week the Catamounts are off, so maybe they can find that magic they had to begin the season before they return to action in two weeks.
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n6)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Citadel (Kramer) xe2x80x93 The Citadel walked into Statesboro this weekend representing a great cause. Like Kramer and the AIDS walk, the Bulldogs were carrying the banner against former SoCon foe Georgia Southern in a matchup of two heavy option football teams. If only The Citadel had been willing to wear the ribbon! The Eagles pummeled the Bulldogs and despite the great start to the season, The Citadel was no match for a superior opponent in the 48-13 loss. The lone bright spot for the Bulldogs was redshirt freshman RB Evan McField who rushed for 163 yards and 1 TD. This weekend is more of the same as the Bulldogs face rival Charleston Southern. Rembmer Citadel fans xe2x80x93 its like Kramer said xe2x80x9cThis is America! I don’t have to wear anything I don’t wanna wear!xe2x80x9d
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n7)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 VMI (Lena) xe2x80x93 Lena was the xe2x80x9cgiving personxe2x80x9d in this episode who supported great causes and took leftovers from dinner to the soup kitchen she worked at every morning at 6am. With 5 total turnovers on Saturday, the Keydets could have used a little less xe2x80x9cgivingxe2x80x9d and a little more xe2x80x9cdepravityxe2x80x9d in their game plan. It appears this season that VMI will go as its QB Al Cobb goes, and Saturdayxe2x80x99s 42-10 loss was not a good day for Mr. Cobb with 4 total INTs and a 46% completion percentage. While the Keydets did gain over 200 yards on the ground, they are going to have to rally the troops this weekend with a visit to Paladin Stadium to face a hot Furman team.
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n8)xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0xc2xa0 Mercer (George Costanza) xe2x80x93 Youxe2x80x99re xe2x80x9cout of the loopxe2x80x9d Mercer! I confided in the Bears and praised them for the 2-0 start and even awarded them the xe2x80x9ccandy lineupxe2x80x9d schedule designation. What happens xe2x80x93 the Bears roll into Cookeville to play Tennessee Tech and their 111th ranked FCS defense, and walk out of Tucker Stadium with a 29-22 loss. Mercer had its chances for redemption with 5 trips into the Red Zone but only came away with 2 TDxe2x80x99s. Despite the Bears offense rushing for 261 yards, the defense gave up 301 through the air and put the team in a hole 21-6 midway through the 2nd quarter. I can see Bears fans leaving the game now lamenting xe2x80x9cYou know, you’re nuts with these sponges. George is gettin’ frustrated!xe2x80x9d Good thing this week is a bye week.