The Seinfeld Conference Week 8: “The Burning”
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Back To SoCon
By Corey Stewart
SouthernPigskin.com
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Week 8 was Homecoming weekend in the SoCon.
nWeek 8 was Homecoming weekend in the SoCon. Youxe2x80x99re not supposed to lose Homecoming right? While there were a number of upset bids on the line, itxe2x80x99s still a three team race for the title heading into Week 9 with just one xe2x80x9cburningxe2x80x9d question left. Who is going to be the 2015 Southern Conference Champion?
n1) Chattanooga (Jerry Seinfeld) xe2x80x93 “Pull the old switcheroo – I think that’s ‘What’s good for the goose is good for the gander – What the hell is a gander anyway? – It’s a goose that’s had the old switcheroo pulled on her.” Call it what you want, but the Mocxe2x80x99s buses departed Sparkle City this Saturday afternoon with a victory after pulling a fast one on the upset minded Terriers 20-17. Holding onto a 17-9 lead late in the fourth, the Mocxe2x80x99s gave up a game tying touchdown with 2:25 left to make it 17-17 in the final minutes. But Jacob Huesman coolly led the #5 Mocs down the field and set up the game winning 38 yard FG try. SoCon Special Teams Player of the Week (they should really just rename it the Ribeiro Award) Henrique Ribeiro was more than up to the task, and struck it true, to give Chattanooga its first road win over Wofford since 1998. The Mocxe2x80x99s were outgained 318-265 and mauled in the time of possession column by over 10 minutes, but good teams find a way to win, no matter the circumstances. After two straight weeks on the road, Chattanooga gets a chance to thin the field for the title when they host Western Carolina at 2:00. xe2x80x9cNo, no, the old switcheroo is you poison your drink then you switch it with the other person’s. – No, it’s doing the same thing to someone that they did to you.xe2x80x9d
n2) Citadel (Elaine) xe2x80x93 “You prefer dumb and lazy to religious? – Dumb and lazy I understand.” The Citadel football program has been in purgatory for a long time, and while itxe2x80x99s still hard to fathom how they got here, after Saturdayxe2x80x99s 38-17 woodshed beating of arch rival Furman it may be time to start believing in these Bulldogs. In a game that wasnxe2x80x99t remotely as close as the score indicates, Citadel dominated the Paladins, racking up 455 yards of offense (388 on the ground), cruising to a comfortable 24-7 halftime lead. Eight different Bulldogs ran the ball on Saturday, with Cam Jackson leading the way with 78 yards rushing. The Bulldogs defense was stout all day as well, holding Furman to less than 100 yards offense in the 1st half, and forcing two decisive
ninterceptions in the 2nd half to put away any delusions of a Furman comeback. The Bulldogs can keep converting believers this Saturday when they host Mercer at 2:00. xe2x80x9cSo where do you wanna eat? – Feels like an Arby’s night. – Arby’s. Beef and cheese and do you believe in God?xe2x80x9d
n3) Western Carolina (Kramer) xe2x80x93 xe2x80x9cI don’t believe this, I’m being typecast.xe2x80x9d Showmanship. It can only take you so far. Do the Western Carolina Catamounts have what it really takes to make a late season run for the title? They certainly made a few believers around the league on Saturday with their 56-36 drubbing of visiting Samford. QB Troy Mitchell threw for 352 yards and 2 TDxe2x80x99s, in leading the Catamounts to 555 yards of total offense. Defensively, Western was led by SoCon Defensive Player of the Week Daniel Riddle with 11 tackles and an interception in holding Samford to a 26 point margin headed into the 4th quarter. The Catamounts get their chance to truly make people feel their cause this Saturday when they play at Chattanooga at 2:00. xe2x80x9cYes, yes I will! I’m gonna make people feel my gonorrhea, and feel the gonorrhea themselves.xe2x80x9d
n4) VMI (Mickey) xe2x80x93 xe2x80x9cBacterial Meningitis. Jackpot! – You wanna trade? – Sorry buddy, this is the “Hamlet” of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions, it’s got everything.xe2x80x9d In a season thatxe2x80x99s had it all for the Keydets, searching for your first conference win in a season can often feel like hitting the jackpot when you finally get it. For VMI, it was this Saturday in their triumph over host Mercer 28-21. The victory broke a 30 game losing streak on the road for the Keydets, as they racked up over 500 yards of offense. SoCon Offensive Player of the Week Aaron Sanders broke the school record for receptions in a game with 16 going for 218 yards, and the defense held true on a late Mercer drive, stopping them on downs at the VMI 25 yard line. The Keydets look to make it two in a row this Saturday as they host Wofford at 1:30.
n5) Wofford (George) xe2x80x93 “Alright, that’s it for me! Be good everybody!” Leave them wanting more. Thatxe2x80x99s how they do it in Vegas right? Well if this past weekend was the last hoorah for the Terriers season, they went out with a bang in a harrowing last second defeat to UTC 20-17. It was a tight game throughout, with the Terriers up 9-7 at the half and taking the lead with 2:25 remaining on a 6 yard Brad Butler run. But the Mocxe2x80x99s drove the field and connected on a 38 yard FG as time expired to take the win back to Chattanooga. The Terriers had 255 yards rushing, 143 of those coming from RB Lorenzo Long. At 3-5 on the year the Terriers now must regroup and travel to Lexington to play the confident Keydets at 1:30.
n6) Samford (David Puddy) xe2x80x93 xe2x80x9cWell if you want it, you get it – Sorry, thou shalt not steal.xe2x80x9d Samford took a very conservative approach to football this Saturday as they tried not to break any commandments in looking for a victory up in Cullowhee. And while the game was there for the taking, the Bulldogs instead were run over by the Catamounts 56-36, ending Samfordxe2x80x99s hopes of staying in the SoCon race for 2015. Redshirt Freshman QB Devlin Hodges got the nod to start and threw for 399 yards and 3 TDxe2x80x99s, but outside of a 10-10 tie to end the 1st quarter, Samford was never close to the lead. After giving up over 500 yards of offense in the contest, Samfordxe2x80x99s defense now ranks 105th nationally, with no signs of improving. For a season that started with such promise, the Bulldogs must now win out to finish the season if they want to match their win total from 2014. The search for their 4th victory comes this Saturday as they host Furman at 3:00. xe2x80x9cYou stole my Jesus fish, didn’t you? – Yeah, that’s right!xe2x80x9d
n7) Furman (Mr. Kruger) xe2x80x93 At the end of the episode, itxe2x80x99s just George and Mr. Kruger working on a big project because everyone else has been kicked off of it. Things have gotten so bad for the company that the xe2x80x9cRxe2x80x9d has fallen off the sign out front, and now it just says xe2x80x9cK-ugerxe2x80x9d. Itxe2x80x99s getting to that point in Greenville these days as the Paladins were blasted on Homecoming by the Citadel 38-17.At the end of the first half the Paladins had a total of 79 yards of offense. Ouch. Not much else to say after that. Maybe the xe2x80x98Dins can break that elusive 300 yard mark on offense this week when they travel to Samford at 3:00. xe2x80x9cK-uger, that sounds like one of those old-time car horns, huh? K-uger! K-uger!xe2x80x9d
n8) Mercer (Sophie) xe2x80x93 First SoCon team to lose to VMI this season (on Homecoming no less)? How bad is thatxe2x80xa6about as bad as getting gonorrhea from riding a tractor in your xe2x80x9cbathing suitxe2x80x9d I suppose. The 28-21 defeat for the Bears at home puts Mercer at 0-3 in the conference and leaves them as the only team not to beat another SoCon foe this year. The Keydets jumped out early and often on the Bears Saturday, scoring the gamexe2x80x99s first 21 points in route to a 28-14 halftime lead. The Bears defense was torched by VMI for 567 yards in the game, 391 of which came through the air. Offensively the Bears couldnxe2x80x99t do much on the ground as Alex Lakes was held to only 52 yards rushing, putting the pressure on John Russ to lead the team through the air; although he could only muster 201 yards passing on 22 attempts for 1 touchdown. The Bears try to get back to .500 this week when they travel to SoCon leader Citadel at 2:00.
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